Uncertainty

Wiped out

The weather last week was warm and sulty. It was 32 degrees Celcius/90 degrees Fahrenheit. When the temperature is this high it tears the energy and inspiration out of me. I've worked very hard lately and said to myself that taking a week off would do me some good. So I did some jobs in my house, slept in the shadow of the nut tree in the garden and read this beautiful book: 'La sombra del Viento' of Carlos Ruiz Zafón... (English title: The Shadow of the wind), which has already been read by at least 15 million people worldwide.

I can tell you, I've read a lot of books, but this is absolutely the most fabulous one I've ever read. To me Carlos Ruiz Zafón is a fantastic artist. I envy him for his talent, for his imagination and the strength to compose it into a book. It took him 7 years to write the next book: El juego del ángel (The angel's game) which I'm absolutely going to read and immerse into this promising story. I cannot wait! I wonder, does Carlos ever feel uncertain? Does he ever doubt himself, feeling small, just like me?

It happens to me every time after taking 1 or 2 weeks off.... I get uncertain and find myself thinking that I lost 'the magic touch', that I cannot do it anymore. This goes skin deep, every time again. Up til now I've always retrieved 'it'. Today I stepped into my studio again.... and screwed up. So now I'll be giving myself some peptalk and start over again tomorrow.